Mike sits on his ugly yellow sofa staring at his laptop. A large orange cat snoozes beside him.
Muse stands before him illuminated by a spotlight.
MUSE: Brainstorming time! Let’s get this show on the road! Boy have I got a bunch of great stories for you today. First up: The President of the United States is a serial killer who…
MIKE: No politics.
MUSE: How about: Scientists at a futuristic theme park genetically engineer dinosaurs….
MIKE: Literally the plot of Jurassic Park.
MUSE What about: “cannibal cuckoo clocks?”
MIKE: Is that a cuckoo clock that eats people or other cuckoo clocks?
MUSE: No idea. Oh! What if scientists at a futuristic theme park genetically engineer cannibal cuckoo clocks?
MIKE: PASS!
MUSE: An erotic thriller about manatees.
MIKE (Buries his face in his hands): I’m the worst writer in the world.
MUSE: Here’s a good one: A horror story about a couple that gets lost in a thunderstorm and needs to seek shelter in a haunted cabin.
MIKE: That is literally the most trite idea I’ve ever heard. Also, most readers will lose respect for characters who run into a creepy cabin just because it’s raining.
MUSE: What if they’re on their way to a wedding and don’t want to get their clothes wet?
MIKE: They’d still be idiots.
MUSE: What if they’re human cacti and can’t get overwatered?
MIKE: Let’s go back to the cannibal cuckoo clock.
MUSE: What if they need to get their sick daughter out of the rain?
MIKE: Wait what?
MUSE: Their daughter is really sick and they need to keep her warm and dry.
Mike stands and starts pacing.
MIKE: Okay there’s something there. But why would they be out in the woods with a sick kid?
MUSE: Their car caught on fire. Ooooh! You should spend lots of time researching different ways a car could catch on fire.
MIKE: No, there’s another reason.
MUSE: Bees got into the car? You could make a reference to My Girl!
MIKE: There’s a couple with a sick kid, it’s raining. What would make them desperate enough to head toward a mysterious cabin?
MUSE: What if the couple has just as many secrets as the cabin?
MIKE: What does that mean?
MUSE (Muse rolls out a massive iron box.): What?
MIKE: What you just said. That sounds interesting, but I don’t know what it means.
MUSE (Climbs into iron box): I can’t hear you.
MIKE: I said. That sounds interesting but—
MUSE: I gotta go now, but I’ll be back when you’re busy at work. Bye! (Muse closes the box’s lid. There is the clank of an enormous lock being secured.)
MIKE: Seriously?
Mike tries to break the box open with a sledgehammer.
Mike attacks the box with a jackhammer.
Mike sets off dynamite Wile E Coyote style but doesn’t make a dent.
MIKE: Open up! What’s their secret?
Mike straps the box to a meteorite headed towards earth, hoping the impact will smash the lock. But it still doesn’t work.
At long last, Mike gives up and takes a shower.
And just as he gets shampoo in his eyes…
Muse, tears the shower curtain aside, Norman Bates style.
MUSE: They were a straight-laced, law-abiding couple, then their daughter got sick and they got desperate. They heard rumors their neighbor (the father of their daughter’s best friend) kept large amounts of cash in his safe. So they broke in. Only their neighbors came home early. A gun went off and their daughter’s best friend was hit. Out of blind panic, the couple takes off, grabbing their daughter out of bed. She has no idea what’s happening only that her parents are panicking. The couple takes backroads through the woods until at last, they run out of gas. There are sirens in the distance. They set out into the rain, coming across this cabin. This is where our story begins. They have been hiding in the cabin for a few hours when the daughter starts to hear the voices of children within the walls, telling her of the horrible thing her parents … why aren’t you writing this down?
MIKE: I’ll remember it.
MUSE: No you won’t. Go get a fucking pen.
Mike grabs a towel and runs off to get a pen.
Scene
Michael’s fiction has appeared in Uncharted Magazine and NewMyths.com as well as other publications. His comic The Secret Lives of Demon Hunters is currently being illustrated. Michael is a member of the neurodivergent community. When he is not writing, he is either training for a marathon with his wife or searching for the world’s greatest hot sauce.
Michael is one of our featured authors in the upcoming paranormal anthology, Soul, with his story “Rage and Redemption.” Soul is available on Oct. 18, but you can preorder your copy today!
website/blog: michaeljbarron.com
twitter: @Barron_Writer
BlueSky: @barronauthor
Instagram: @michael.barron.author